Worrying

Rabbi Melanie Aron

August 11, 2001

It is natural when facing a major change or important event in one's life to feel a sense of worry. Whether it is an upcoming Bat Mitzvah, going off for one's first year at college, writing high holiday sermons, or entering the promised land- there is an element of the unknown in the future. For that reason, one of the major themes of the book of Deuteronomy, Moses' farewell address to the Israelites before they set off to cross the Jordan river, was to encourage the Israelites to face the future with courage.

Several times we hear the refrain - al tirah ve'al teichat - do not fear and do not be dismayed.

These are two very interesting words

Tirah fear - comes from the root awe- it is a word often used in relationship to parents, teachers and God.

Teichat - from the root be shattered, it is often used in the context of being dismayed about the future, fearful.

More modestly we call that worrying.

The Rabbis urged us not to worry- they have a very sensible approach.

They tell us that worrying is being afraid that in a future situation you will not be able to cope. It is interest paid in advance on a debt which often times never comes due.

The Rabbis used to say: Worry brings on old age prematurely.

For all that we may be good at worrying, it actually isn't all that effective. In Yiddish they said: He who worries is like him who pushes his finger against the compartment wall of his train to make it go faster.

Rabbi Yechiel maintained that he had learnt from his teachers never to worry about two things: what can be corrected and what cannot be corrected. What can be corrected should be corrected at once, without any need to worry. And as for that which cannot be corrected. Worrying will not help.

In this regard a wonderful story is told about a man named Herschel Witkowsky, who after years of hard work, finally came to the point where he owned a mill and was able to support his family in dignity.

One night there was a terrible fire and the mill burned to the ground. In that time and place there was no insurance to ease the loss.

In the morning Herschel's friends heard about the fire. They decided to go and visit him and offer their help and support.

As they approached Herschel's house, they got worried. What could they say at a time like this? They imagined how upset Herschel would be.

Hesitantly, they knocked on the door.

Come in, they heard a voice respond. They pushed the door open slowly, but found Herschel sitting at the table, drinking tea, and looking quite like himself.

Oh no, they thought, He doesn't know.

Herschel, one of the braver friends began. We have some terrible news. Last night there was a fire -- a fire at your mill.

I know said Herschel. I saw it. I watched it all night. It was the worst thing I ever saw. Everything I worked for is gone. I said to myself: It will take me five maybe ten years to get over this, ten years of sleepless nights and days full of worry. Then maybe I'll be ok.

Then I said to myself. Why wait all those years? Why suffer for five or ten years with sleepless nights and days of worry. I'll get over it now and drink my tea.

Would that it were so easy to put past difficulties behind us and future concerns aside.

Still as the month of Elul begins we would do well to follow Rabbi Yechiel's advice.

Concerning that which cannot be corrected - worrying will not help.

But concerning that which can be corrected, it should be corrected at once, without any need for worry.