Repentance: Little by Little

Rabbi Melanie Aron

September 1, 2001

Last night we read the part of this week's Torah portion that deals with the return of lost property and talked about some of the implications of this text understood literally.

This morning I'd like to share with you how the rabbi's understood this text as metaphor.

The text tells us

HaSheyv Tishiveim - you shall surely return it.

Listening carefully to those words you will hear an echo of other familiar Hebrew words- shuvah, Teshuvah, Return, Repentance -- the themes of this month of Elul.

The rabbis tell us that in reading this portion at this time of year we are learning not only about the importance of returning lost objects but also about the importance of returning lost souls. Just as sheep and goats can lose their way in the world, so too souls can go astray. We identify the lost soul as our own and we take time during the month of Elul to consider where we have gone astray, and how we might find our way back to our God given potential for good.

The word Teshuvah, repentance, suggests that when we turn away from evil, we will return to a primordial balance in our lives. The stages of repentances are four. First, to admit that we have done wrong. Secondly, to make amends, or where we cannot make amends directly, to give tzedakah. Third, to actively ask forgiveness of those we have wronged. And finally, fourth, to turn away from our wrongdoing and not to repeat it.

Of course for the system to work, not only must we be willing to ask forgiveness, but we must be willing to grant forgiveness to those who have wronged us, sometimes an even greater task.

The rabbis tell us that it happened once that Rabbi Eliezer, recognized as the greatest scholar of his generation, prayed for rain and nothing happened. Then Rabbi Akivah, at that point still a young nobody, prayed a short prayer and rain fell. A voice came from heaven and called out: It is not that Akiva is a greater scholar, but Rabbi Elizezer remembers those who slight him while Akiva forgives.

Sometimes the work of teshuvah seems overwhealming. We know that our ability to change is limited. How can we really return our souls to their initial purity. In this regard we read from the Pesikta: Once a great boulder fell onto the highway and no one could remove it. It was too heavy even for a team of workmen to lift, too huge for oxen to pull. The kinds advisors thought and thought. Finally the king commanded that each time someone passed by that they chip off a piece of the rock. In time, little by little, piece by piece, the whole boulder was removed.

Somethings can change only little by little piece by piece. For that reason our tradition provides us with 40 days of preparation for Yom Kippur, so that the changes that cannot take place overnight, might slowly become our new good habits.

At this time of repentance we pray with the words of Rabbi Rami Shapiro:

May we cultivate the strength to look honestly at our actions.

May we cultivate the honesty to admit when we have been wrong.

May we cultivate the understanding to know how best to make amends.

May we cultivate the courage to ask for forgiveness.

May we cultivate the compassion to grant forgiveness when asked.

And finally, May we cultivate the wisdom to know that we do this not for ourselves alone, but for all the world.