Happiness

Rabbi Melanie Aron

September 21, 2002

Over the past two weeks, with the celebration of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we have been dealing with a lot of commandments: to hear the sound of the shofar, to fast, to cast our sins into the sea, to forgive those who ask our forgiveness and seek forgiveness of those we have wronged.

On Succot we also have a variety of commandments, dwelling in a Succah, shaking the lulav and the etrog, thanking god for the bounty of the earth and the rain which helps to produce it, but one of the commandments seemed to me to be particularly interesting. That is the commandment to be happy- or more literally "vehayitah ach samech", you shall be only, exclusively, joyous.

This is an interesting and challenging commandment for several reasons.

The first is the question of whether you can be commanded to feel a particular way.

Normally we think of moods and feelings, as controlling us and not as something we can control. We can't make ourselves feel generous, or make ourselves feel love, or even make ourselves feel happy.

Interestingly Judaism takes the view that we do have some control over our feelings and can prime the pump. Traditionally our moods don't excuse us in any way from the commandments, we can't not give to someone in need, arguing that since we don't feel generous it would be hyposritical. Certain actions are required irrespective of how we feel. In addition Judaism believes in priming the pump. If we act in a generous manner and give tzedakah, the hope is that we will eventually feel generous. If we act lovingly towards our neighbor, if we return an object to our enemy or lift up his ox that has fallen under its burden, we will come to feel more kindly toward him, and if we act in a joyous manner, eventually it will not be an act. This is actually supported by contemporary social psychologists, who believe that because of the mechanisms of cognitive dissonance, acting generously will in fact cause us to feel generous, and acting cheerful can make us feel less grouchy. Also psychologists have found that rehearsing our grievances, rather than making us feel better by getting it all out, actually makes us feel worse and raises our stress level. Even simple things like smiling effect our physiology in a beneficial way. I remember when I was living in a very small apartment in New York city, where my only window looked out on a brick wall. There were Friday afternoons when I didn't feel at all motivated to make Shabbat, to put the tablecloth on the table, pull out the candles and challah plate. But doing those things would usually succeed in changing my mode, so that by the time I was done, I felt much more ready for Shabbat.

Another question one might ask about the commandment to be happy, is why do we need it? Think of the original setting of this holiday. The ancient Israelite farmer has just harvested his crops, his barn is full, his work for the year is complete. Why do we need to command him to be happy? Wouldn't he be happy naturally.

Rav Gifter says this commandment comes to prevent us from ruining our own happiness by comparing ourselves with our neighbor. The ancient Israelite farmer is happy, until he glances over at his neighbor's barn. Then he begins to wonder. Does my neighbor have more than me? The Talmud already noted that it is human nature- if a man has a hundred he wants two hundred, and if he has two hundred then three hundred. As long as we are comparing ourselves to others we will not be able to be happy. That is why we are taught, "Mee Ashir who is happy"?

(This is sometimes translated, who is rich, as ashir means rich in modern Hebrew. However in Biblical Hebrew it more commonly means happy, as in the ashrei psalms, ashrei yoshvey veytechah-happy is the one who dwells in your house)

This relates too the difference the rabbis see in the way Esau and Jacob talk about the property they possess as mature men. Esau says he has rov, a lot, plenty, but Jacob says hakol, everything, I have everything I need.

The one who is satisfied with his portion. The commandment to be only happy, is the commandment to focus only on what we have, and not to be constantly comparing ourselves with others.

Another rabbi found a different explanation for why we are commanded to be happy. The ancient Israelite farmer has just harvested his crops. You might think that's cause for rejoicing but for some people that's when the worrying begins. Will it be enough for the winter? Will I be able to store it safely or rodents or other pests get into it? Will I get a good price for it when I bring it to market? Those are all reasonable worries, but there is a time for rejoicing too.

The rabbis tell a story about a heretic who has an argument with Rabbi Joshua. "Why did God say "and it was very good" after creating humankind? Didn't God know how many bad things would happen as a result of human action?" Rabbi Joshua said to the heretic:" Didn't you just celebrate a birth in your house?" The heretic responsed "yes". Rabbi Joshua continued:" Isn't it true that the baby will eventually, even if he lives to 120, die.?" The heretic responded with a common folk saying of his times:" Joy at the time of joy and mourning at the time of mourning." Rabbi Joshua said that such was God's view of creation and such should be our view of life. "To everything there is a season," when the time of celebrating is here, we strive to be ach saemach. The Israelite farmer is urged to rejoice on Succot and leave his worries for the future to some other time.