Useful Forgetting

Rabbi Melanie Aron

March 15, 2003

A few weeks ago the New York Times ran an article with the intriguing title "Repress Yourself". It reported on physicians and counselors who are challenging the accepted wisdom in dealing with victims of trauma. Normally victims of trauma, whether a terrorist incident, an airplane disaster, or pain of a more personal nature, are encouraged to talk about what happened to them and not to repress their memories. But some studies are now showing that people who repress their traumatic experience, who minimize, distract and deny, in situations varying from heart attacks, to losses of a spouse, or even childhood sexual abuse, actually do better and live fuller lives.

That seemed interesting to me when this week on the Jewish calendar has a special name, Zachor Remember and what we are told to remember is a particularly traumatic attack on the Jewish people. When the Israelites were fleeing Egypt, in the very first days of their desert wanderings, they were attacked by the Amelekites. Unlike other enemies and in defiance of the protocol of their age, the Amelekites attacked the rear of the camp picking off the elderly, the weak, the unprotected children. In traditional synagogues an extra reading from Deuteronomy is added to the weekly Torah portion, a section which reminds us, Zachor et Asher Asah Lecha Amalike- Remember what the Amelekites did to you when you were on your journey, after you left Egypt. How undeterred by fear of God, he surprised you on the march when you were famished and weary and cut down all the stragglers in your rear. Therefore, when the Eternal your God grants you safety from all your enemies around you, in the land that the Eternal your God is giving you as a hereditary portion, you shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven, Do not forget.

This portion is problematic in a number of ways. It seems to be promoting vengeance, as certainly one interpretation of this text, is that blotting out the name of Amalek, means waging war and destroying that people. But for our purposes today, let us consider the meaning of this commandment, not in Biblical times, but during the last two thousand years when all the rabbis agreed that the real people Amalek, no longer existed. Why remember a trauma, an attack of that sort? Most peoples remember their victories and don't even record their defeats.

And is this remembering "good for the Jews", or does it promote a fearful and unduly paranoid approach to the world? Finally, what else is it that we are commanded to remember, and what is the meaning of that remembering?

Briefly, it is important to note that we are commanded not only to remember the Amalekites, but another major trauma as well, our enslavement in Egypt. This is often mentioned in the Torah in reference to our not oppressing the poor and the stranger. You know the heart of the stranger, we are told, because you were strangers in the land of Egypt. We remember in order to learn. In a similar way, from the attack of the Amalekites the Israelites learned to reorder their camp, to place the nechshalim, the vulnerable, in safety in the middle of the encampment, surrounded on each side by the strong men of 3 of the tribes. Certainly, we can gain insight by remembering our past experiences, but do we as Jews overly dwell on them?

Our enslavement and the attacks upon us are not the only thing we are supposed to remember. The command Zachor remember occurs also in the Ten Commandments, where we are told to "Remember the Sabbath Day and Keep it Holy". This is perhaps the most basic of positive commandments, as the Sabbath recurs each week, and can be the foundation for Jewish observance in the home. Perhaps this same word Zachor is used for both commandments to remind us that Judaism should not just be about remembering the trauma of being Jewish, the enemies that rise up against us, the suffering of our people, but also about the sweetness of Jewish life, symbolized the wine of Sabbath eve and the celebration, rest and refreshment of the Sabbath day.

The article in the New York Times ends with a therapist talking about one of her patients who had been defined by her experience of childhood sexual abuse. Part of her therapy was refocusing and developing computer skills. When the evaluators of the program came by for their annual visit, instead of introducing herself as she usually did, "Hi ! I'm Karen a sexual abuse survivor", this time she introduced herself "Hi! I'm Karen, the lead ethnographer for the Franklin County Women and Violence Project." Do we forget and ignore our past traumas? Certainly, not. But if we can learn to remember other things as well, then they do not become the sole definition of who we are.

Louis you took on a very serious topic in your remarks this morning, and our times require us to think about difficult things. But I hope you associate Judaism also with joyous times and celebrations, with that which is life entrancing and not life threatening. May the Torah always be for you useful wisdom in good times as well as hard times.