Words Really Matter

Rabbi Melanie Aron

Saturday, July 30, 2005

There is a wonderful Yiddish poem, that I read at services on the High Holidays a few years ago, in which the author, seemingly in a voice of complaint, tells us that while other young people receive vast sums of money from their parents as an inheritance, or precious jewels, fancy cars or fine wine – all he got were words.

Gay gezunt - go in good health
Hob rachmoness - have compassion
Gib Tzedakah - give charity
Hob seichel - use good sense
Zog dem emess - speak the truth
Zei a mentsch - be a mentsch (impossible to translate)

Jewish tradition asserts that there is great power in words. Genesis tells us: “And God said … “and that’s all it took to set the world into motion.

In Hebrew, the Ten Commandments are called aseret hadibrot, - the ten sayings. And when the Temple was destroyed it was words, words of prayer and words of stud,y that became the path towards closeness to God.

This week’s Torah portion, Matot, as Sarah has discussed, begins with a discussion of vows. Later generations studying this text drew some further conclusions about the importance of speech in general.

The rabbis urge us to remember the significance of every word that comes out of our mouths. They noted rather graphically that we would not use a fork from our table, a fork we were planning to bring to our mouths again, to shovel fertilizer in the fields. Similarly, the same mouth that will be used for words of holiness, in prayer and study, should not be used for falsehood, gossip or hurtful words that will cause another to blush or blanch.

The rabbis also taught from this portion, that it is not only our words that are important, but also our silences. If a husband remains silent, his wife’s vow stands. In many other situations as well, silence is assent. Often it happens that someone says something in our presence that is wrong or offensive, bur for the sake of politeness or in order not to rock the boat, we stay quiet. Jewish tradition obligates us to speak up. Our stand should be clear as we might influence others.

Finally, there is a paradox in this portion. During Shannelle’s reading you may have heard words familiar to you from the Kol Nidrei prayer. It made me think about vows and those times when we cannot fulfill our vows. The Torah text stresses that vows are binding, yet Jewish law also provides a mechanism for being released from our vows. For me, this paradox is a commentary on perfectionism.

Much of our frustration in life stems from a lack of perfection, in ourselves and in those around us. We tell ourselves that we should be perfect. We are angry when our parents, children, co-workers, bosses and even friends are not perfect. Jewish tradition remembers that while God may be tamim perfect, we humans rarely are.

We are meant to strive to fulfill our vows, to be our best selves, but then as a community on Yom Kippur, we recite Kol Nidrei. Just as in ancient times an Israelite would got to the kohen, the priest, and ask to be released from his vow, so do we stand before God each year, acknowledging the vows, the promises, the words of aspirations, we were not able to fulfill. The words of our tradition remind us – “we are but little lower than the angels”, but sometimes that little bit makes quite a difference.

All the poet got was words, but they were enough to guide him through a lifetime.