The Rainbow and Our Friendships

Rabbi Melanie Aron

Saturday, November 5, 2005

Two people have had a disagreement, a fight, or maybe one has hurt the other’s feelings. Maybe one expected something from the other in terms of friendship or loyalty and has been disappointed. Maybe the problem just came up or maybe it has gone on for a very long time. Maybe they are just friends, or maybe they have family ties.

When these two people find themselves together and are each willing to share that moment with each other, our tradition provides a blessing. The words of the blessing are Baruch Atah Adonai Zocher Habrit. Blessed are you O God, who remembers the covenant. You may recognize these words as the blessing we say on seeing the rainbow. Why was this blessing chosen? What do the fights we have with our family and friends have to do with the great flood?

In the story of Noah there are two sets of broken relationships. Most obvious is the relationship between God and humankind. God’s disappointment with humanity was so great that it threatened to destroy all of creation. But after the flood God made a promise that this relationship was for keeps, that however severely strained or wounded the relationship would become, it was an enduring commitment.

But there is also another broken relationship in this Parashah and that is the relationship between Noah and the rest of humanity. Our commentaries note that the text in Genesis tells us that God shut Noah in the ark. The verb used here is often used for shutting someone in prison, “where he does not close the door to his own cell himself, but is locked in the cell by the jailer from the outside.” They notice that the ark was a place of refuge and safety but also a sort of solitary confinement. The rabbis criticize Noah for caring only for the survival of himself and his family. He was not sensitive to the needs and suffering of his neighbors. And so Rabbi Tameret tells us, he got what he deserved, punishment through isolation. During his time on the ark he was shut off from humanity. He writes: We diminish our righteousness in not being open to the suffering of our neighbors. If we are not sensitive to their needs, we too will be shut out, not only from them, but from God as well.” When Noah came out of the ark and saw the destruction of the world, the Midrash tells us that he was a changed person and felt for the suffering of others. He longed for community and recognized what he had lost in now being alone, his family alone, on the earth.

The rainbow reminds us of God’s promise not to destroy the world, but it can also remind us of the importance of our relationships. We need to see the rainbows connecting us so that we can get past the conflicts and disappointments, strains and wounds that come up in everyday life. The rainbow is a sign of peace and wholeness. Though always elusive, and never fully realized, it points us in the direction we should go to elevate our lives.

Baruch Atah Adonia Zocher Habrit.

“Blessed are You who remembers that relationships are for keeps. Help us to see the rainbows between us and to trust the power of our connections.” (Clal Calendar of Blessings for All Occasions)