Coaches, Creation, and Companionship

Rabbi Joel Fleekop

Saturday, October 6, 2007

The famous basketball coach John Wooden is noted not only for his success at UCLA, where he won ten championships during his storied coaching career, including seven titles in a row, but also for his witty and wise sayings. Famous Wooden quotes include, “Things turn out the best for people who make the best of the way things turn out,” “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do,” “It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.” and my personal favorite, “Be quick but don’t hurry.”

What I like about many of the quotes attributed to John Wooden is that they require you to think. When you first hear them, it is tempting to dismiss them as folksy sayings, remnants of Wooden’s Midwestern roots. Plus, they often seem to contradict themselves or to be sending a mixed message. But when you take the time to really think about what Coach Wooden is saying, you discover that he is saying something very important, something wise and profound.

Like a Wooden quote, this morning’s Torah portion, Parshat Bereshit, appears, at first glance, to be sending mixed messages about human beings and the value of companionship.

As many of us will recall from our childhood books of bible stories, after placing a human being in the Garden of Eden, God observes “It is not good that the human should be alone.”

Commenting on this verse, the rabbi’s offer a number of reasons for why it was necessary for God to create a partner from one of ha-adam, the human’s ribs.

Rabbi Tanhuma is quoted in the Talmud as saying that without a companion one’s life is devoid of joy, blessing and well being. As the discussion in Masechet Yevamot continues, the list expands to include peace, and Torah learning.

In addition to these psychological needs, the rabbi’s suggest that without a partner it would also be impossible for a human being to meet one’s physical needs. Rabbi Yose explains that while a man can gather wheat and flax, it is partnership that allows those raw materials to become bread and clothing.

Finally, the Italian Commentator Sforno suggests that alone man cannot reach his spiritual potential. That it is human interaction that both give us the time and the opportunity to truly live b’tzelem eloheim, in the image of God.

The rabbinic commentaries, combined with the declarative assertion of Genesis 2 “It is not good that the human should be alone,” appear to be sending a very clear message that people coming together is for the good. But as we continue through the Torah portion we see example after example where that is not the case.

The first human being is given one rule to follow, not to eat from the tree of tree of knowledge. But after the creation of a second human being, following this command becomes more difficult. Whether, as the rabbi’s speculate, Adam didn’t convey the command to Eve properly and so it was possible for the serpent to convince her to eat, or curiosity simply got the better of them, they end up going astray and eating from the tree of knowledge.

The next people we encounter are Cain and Abel. Cain and Abel were brothers and should have been there to support one another. But they seemingly could never get along. The rabbi’s teach that the brother’s fought over the division of property, over differences in religion, and for a woman’s attention. When God accepted Abel’s sacrifice while rejecting Cain’s offering, Cain was driven by jealousy to commit fratricide.

The generations that followed were also unable to get along. By the end of Parshat Bereshit God is so troubled by human beings inability to live just lives that God begins to question the decision to create men and women.

Genesis chapter 6, verses 5-6 state, “And the Eternal saw that great was humankind’s evildoing on earth and every for m of their heart’s planning was only evil all the day. Then the Eternal was sorry that God had made humankind on earth and it pained God’s heart.”

So how are we to understand the mixed messages of Parshat Beresheit? Is it, as Genesis 2:18 asserts, not good for human beings to be alone. Or is having people come together a dangerous thing, as is suggested by the stories of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, and the generations that followed?

The great French rabbi, Rashi reconciles these seemingly contradictory messages. The assertion in Genesis 2:18 that “It is not good for the human being to be alone” is followed in the Torah by Eh-ehseh lo ezer knego.

These words are most often translated as “I will make a help mate like him.” But Rashi offers a different translation. Instead of understanding ezer knegdo as expressing a single idea, “a help mate like him,” he sees the last two words of the phase as representing two possibilities. The companion can either be an ezer - a help or knegdo - an opponent. The determining factor, according to Rashi, is the merit and values of the people involved. If they are accustomed to making good choices and living a life of mitzvoth, then having a companion will make things easier and add meaning to their lives. But if they make poor choices, their interactions with others will only lead to more mistakes and conflict.

Justin and Joseph, as you go through life working with others will give you the chance to do incredible things. Justin, as a second baseman you know that turning a double play often depends on teamwork. And Joseph, the type of research you hope to do as an environmental scientist will not be accomplished alone. Companions and colleagues will allow you to reach your goals. And when the things you strive toward are achieved, the joy you feel will be increased because you will not be celebrating alone, just as this morning is made more special because you are surrounded by friends and loved ones.

But as I trust you have learned by now, friends can also be a distraction, a source of jealousy, or the catalyst for doing and saying hurtful things.

Parshat Bereshit reminds us that while it is not good to be alone, companionship can lead to both good and bad. The determining factor is the values we live by. As Coach Wooden taught, “It isn’t what you do, but how you do it.”

Shabbat Shalom