Judging Others

Rabbi Melanie Aron

Saturday, October 13, 2007

When I was a teenager, my friends and I used to like to take the tests in the teen magazines. You know the ones, “What Kind of Friend are You?” and “Know Your Personality Type.”

I understand now this is more of a computer things and I’ve even sent our Confirmation students off to the test on the beliefnet website where you can learn that you are 87% a Reform Jew and 40% a Buddhist and 67% a Unitarian.

One of the most famous of the personality tests is the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory which is used in many work settings. After taking the test you are given a measure on four different dichotomies including extravert/introvert, sensing,/intuiting, feeling/thinking and finally judging/perceiving.

I was thinking about the Myers-Briggs test with relation to this week’s torah portion and wondering how much of a J, a natural judger God night turn out to be, if God took this test. After all, the portion begins with God judging all of humankind and finding humankind wanting and ends with God making a judgment about the builders of the tower of Babel and punishing them accordingly. This is even a function of God that we celebrate in the imagery of our holidays, as on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, when we imagine God sitting on the throne of judgment and in the words of our prayers.

One might suppose then that our tradition learned from this portion that judging others is a good trait, but in at least one traditional commentary I found, that wasn’t the case. This week I came across an interesting commentary on the story of Noah’s drunkenness in the musar literature. Musar is the part of Jewish teaching focused on personal ethics and character development. This particular text focused on the response of Noah’s sons to his drunkenness.

As you recall, after coming out of the ark, Noah plants a vineyard. He is the first to do so in the Bible. Jewish commentaries differ about whether this happened just because he didn’t forsee the effects of drinking wine, since no one else had done so before, or if he more consciously chose to get drunk. Perhaps after coming out of the ark, and seeing the widespread destruction, he realized that in just following God’s orders he had not fulfilled his real duty. Perhaps he had second thoughts about what he had done and understood that rather than just building the ark, without saying anything to God, he should have begged God for mercy for all of creation, as Abraham would later do for the cities of Sodom and Gemorah.

In any event, while drunk, Noah is staggering around naked and is seen by his son Cham, who finds in this incident an opportunity to gossip about his father. The other two sons, Shem and Yafet come to Noah’s rescue and respectfully cover him and put him to bed.

I expected this text to be an opportunity for a sermon against the evil of drunkenness and was instead surprised to read the following: “This incident reveals the base nature of Cham in contrast to the dignified nature of Shem and Yafet. Cham fell into one of the pitfalls of human nature i.e. judging and censuring others for their flaws.” The text goes on to praise the other brothers for turning away and avoiding looking on Noah’s shame. It saw in them the propensity to see good in others, and not to seek the negative.

In Judaism we are taught to hold ourselves to a high standard and review our own behavior regularly, not only on the High Holidays, but in every weekday Amidah, and in particular on the day before each Rosh Hodesh, each new moon. However in judging others, we are told to judge them lechaf zechut, giving them the benefit of the doubt. This instruction is derived from Leviticus Chapter 4 verse 4 where we are told to judge our neighbors righteously. It is found also in Rabbi Joshua ben Perachya’s teaching in Pirke Avot, where he ties judging others favorably to our ability to work with a teacher and make a friend. After all everyone we encounter will be imperfect and if we cannot find a way to judge them favorably, it will be hard for us to interact with others. The Musar literature advises us to remember that in viewing others we are seeing only a piece of the story and should not jump to conclusions. And even when others have done something wrong, the morally appropriate things to do is not to glory in our supposed superiority but to focus on what we can learn from this for our own development. The Talmud has a long story about a workman whose boss seems to be treating him harshly in not paying him in a timely fashion or loaning him even warm clothes and a blanket to make himself comfortable in the meanwhile. Even so the workman does not judge his boss harshly but considers that there might be a reason for this behavior. In the end it is discovered that, sure enough, the boss was not acting meanly but was himself under terrible pressure from the Roman overloads. Once the boss is relieved of his own problems, he comes to his workman with his back wages, and three donkeys laden with gifts. As you judged me favorably he says, so may you always be judged favorably.

Sofia, as you think back on your Bat Mitzvah and your Torah portion, may this lesson also come to mind. As you reach out to others with an open mind, may they also welcome you and treat you with kindness.

Talmud Bavli Shabbat 127b

The sages teach:

One who judges his friend favorably will be judged favorably.

The following story is told:

A man went down from the Upper Gallilee and was hired as a worker for a landowner in the south for three years.

On the day before Yom Kippur the worker came to his boss and said, “Give me my wages so I can support my wife and children.” He replied, “I do not have them.”

He said to him, “Give me produce.” He replied, “I have none.” He said to him, “Give me land.” “I have none.” “Give me animals.” “I have none.” “Give me pillows and covers.” “I have none.”

The worker slung his things over his shoulder and went home frustrated.

After the festivals the employer took the worker’s wages in hand, and along with them loaded three donkeys -- one full of food, one with drink, and another with tasty foods -- and went to his worker’s house.

After they ate and drank he gave the worker his wages.

He said to him, “When you asked me for your wages and I told you I have no money what did you suspect me of?” “I said perhaps you came across inexpensive merchandise and bought it.”

“And when you said to me to give you animals and I replied that I have none, what did you suspect me of?” “I said perhaps they were hired out.”

“And when you said to me to give you land and I told you I had none, what did you suspect?” “I said perhaps it was leased out to others.”

“And when I told you that I had no produce what did you suspect? “I said perhaps it was not tithed.”

“And when I told you that I had no pillows or blankets what did you suspect? “”I said perhaps he donated all of his property to Heaven.”

He said, “I swear that is what happened. I vowed off all of my property because of my son Hyrkanus who did not go to learn Torah. When I went to my friends in the south they annulled all of my vows. As for you -- the same way you judged me favorably, the Omnipresent should judge you favorably.”