Growing Up - When You Are No Longer a Child

Rabbi Melanie Aron

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Every time I see Rabbi Fleekop’s baby Yael, I can tell that she has grown. Physically she is bigger, and developmentally she has progressed in some way. She is gaining new skills almost daily. If I were graphing her growth, the direction of the line would be clear.

It’s not the same with adults. When you are a grown-up, it’s harder to tell whether you are growing in a positive direction. There are fewer clear landmarks and much of our growth is internal rather than being externally visible. Sometimes it takes real reflection to tell if you are merely in motion or if you are truly progressing.

This made me think of the question of progress in the books of the Torah. The books of Genesis and Exodus have stories that clearly move forward. Abraham’s family starts in Ur of Chaldees and ends up in Canaan. The Israelites are slaves in Egypt and then are freed with signs and wonders.

But the book of Leviticus is a collection of laws and Deuteronomy is one long speech; in neither case do you expect forward movement. What about the book of Numbers, which is what we read at this time of year? It is a collection of stories, where you would expect a narrative that progresses, but in this book, the stories are a hodge-podge and it is hard to tell if the Israelis are really moving forward.

The Israelites seem in some ways closest to their goal at the beginning of the book of Numbers. At that point they are still where they stood three months after the Exodus, at Mt. Sinai, where they received the Torah. But though they move along over the next 39 years and have many adventures, it often seems as if they are regressing, or at least wandering in circles without progressing towards their goal.

In our Torah portion this week, we find the camp organized for forward movement. At the beginning of Chapter 10 there is a description of all of the tribes encamped in their places, each one under its own banner. Moses is ready to move them forward at God’s instruction. There is a pillar of fire for them to follow at night and a cloud by day to guide them to their destination.

But then the Israelites lose track of their goals, and get muddled in complaints and murmurings. It takes an entire generation for them to get back on the path to progress. God attempts to solve the problem of the murmurings by giving prophetic vision to 70 of the elders, but its not enough to keep the community permanently on track. Moses’ response to the two additional elders Eldad and Medad who are prophesying in the camp, “would that all God’s people were prophets” will ultimately be the solution. Prophets here are not predictors of the future, but those who are inspired to keep their eyes looking into the future. Ultimately, there will be a new generation in which each Israelite shares in the vision of the Promised Land.

Adolescence in some ways is like childhood and in other ways like adulthood. For young men especially it is like childhood in that you are continuing to grow physically and to mature emotionally. But it is also like adulthood where there can be a lot of movement, a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.

I have seen so much growth in the three of you over these two years of preparation for this special Bar Mitzvah. Even over the last few months, there have been noticeable gains in your skills and maturity.

What we pray for you is that you will each continue in this direction and be spared the aimless wandering that results from losing sight of your goals and visions. May you continue to hear the shofar’s blast in the deep recesses of your heart, calling you to forward progress, reminding you of all that you have been taught and absorbed into your own being. May you each have a vision of a positive future and be able to move with confidence in that direction. With that inspiration you cannot help but succeed.