It Gets Better

Rabbi Melanie Aron

Saturday, August 6, 2011

The “It Gets Better” videos worked for a number of reasons. First of all they broke down the isolation that some teens were feeling. If major superstars, President Obama, and employees at Google, all cared enough to make a video for them, then perhaps they were not as alone in the world as they felt at that moment.

But I think there was a second reason these video’s were so powerful. The video’s allowed young people, at least for a few moments, to step away from the manner in which we usually live our lives, that is forward, not knowing what will happen next, and for a brief period live their life, backwards as it were, already having a glimpse of their own futures. That is a gift that is very unusual.

Rebecca pointed out in her D’var Torah this morning that although, Moses was the greatest of all the prophets, although he had a relationship with God which was both quantitatively as well as qualitatively different than other prophets, even so, Moses was not perfect. He, like all the rest of the characters in the Bible, had his strengths and his weaknesses, his outstanding qualities and his flaws. In particular, Moses had an issue with anger management.

At three significant junctures of his life, we are told that Moses lost his temper. Once, as a young man, he struck a taskmaster without thinking about the consequences of his action. The second time, as a mature leader, he was overcome by the sight of the people worshipping the Golden Calf on Mt Sinai and smashed the tablets of the covenant, tablets created by God. And finally, as an old man, he was so worn down by the people’s complaining that he struck the rock, failing to follow God’s instructions to talk to the rock.

For the rabbis it was this flaw which brought Moses down and prevented him from being allowed to enter the promised land, but to me what really humanizes Moses is that he, like each of us, was forced to live life in the forward direction, not knowing what will happen next.

If Moses were living his life backwards- that is with all the wisdom of hindsight- he would not have been so afraid when he learned that the word was out on his having defended the Israelite slave. He would not have been so despairing after the Golden Calf, worried that God would no longer be present to him and to the community. If he knew the story from the end rather than from the beginning, he would have been comforted at each time of crisis by knowing that it was a challenge and that he and the people would get through it.

The popular “It Gets Better” video’s, are trying to lift the spirits of adolescents by assuring them that the trials they are going through now will pass, and that their future is brighter. Coming to believe in that better future is a tremendous help in facing their current struggles.

Following the destruction of the First Temple, marked by the day of mourning Tisha B’av which falls this coming Monday night, the entire Jewish people required an “it gets better” motivator. They didn’t have movies or you tube, but using words the prophets of the time tried to paint a picture of the future that was compelling enough to be real for the generation which suffered the Exile. These prophets did such a good job that their words were preserved, and with the destruction of the Second Temple, their words were pulled out again, to try and convince the Jewish people, that there could be better days in their future. This week Rebecca chanted for us the harsh words of warning before the destruction- next week the Haftarah will turn to words of encouragement and optimism.

No one, not even Moses, is perfect, and no one, not even Moses, knows what will happen in the future. But all of us can have the kind of emunah, the kind of trust or faith, that both the ancient prophets of Israel and the contemporary producers of the “its gets better video’s” try to create- trust in a better future, trust in the dawn that follows the dark, in the rebuilding that follows destruction, the sacred remnant that survives the great burning, the joy that can come even after tears